By Nexus
Oct 07, 2019

How to Be Irresistibly Sexy

Sex In The Tron

It’s the last Sex in the Tron for the year, damn. I’ve had a lot of fun with this, let me tell ya, and a big thanks to y’all for the ‘oh-my-god-you’re-so-right’ messages - I hope you’ve been listening, yeah? Anyways, considering we’re all about to head into a debaucherous summer of flings, flirtation and festies, I thought I’d leave you with a few pearls of wisdom...that is, the secrets to coming across like a damn sexy mother fucker.

  • It all starts with the smize, à la Tyra Banks. Make a lot of eye contact, but not so much that you look like a psychopath. Fuck ‘em with your eyes alone. Many a pull in the Outback has been achieved by yours truly by throwing a come-hither look across the mosh; trust me, it works a treat.
  • The next primal sense we have is our sense of smell. There’s not much you can do to adjust your pheromones, but basic things - such as, y’know, showering regularly - will make sure your scent can attract a potential mate. Fragrance is a BIG play (issue 17 for a male fragrance review for inspiration). You want enough that you smell like a sexy devil, but not so much that the choking from your cherie is due to the strength of your shitty Lynx rather than something else…
  • Next is the body language. Express your lust through your bodily angles - knees towards your boo shows you’re keen on them (according to my high school science teacher, anyway). ‘Open’ your arms and chest etc towards them, get yourself in close, and an ~accidental~ arm grease never goes astray. It also helps if you’re well-dressed (read: put in a least some effort), well-groomed, and have clean teeth. Seriously, good dental hygiene is hot.
  • Grafting is just like riding a horse; they can sense your fear, and it won’t do you any favours. So you need to ooze confidence - if you’re not confident, fake it until you make it. To be confident in your body, eat well 80% of the time, do regular exercise, and stick with it; that’s all it takes, and it makes you feel a million bucks better than when you haven’t gotten off your arse in seven days and just followed up your pizza with half a Sara Lee. Other things that help with getting comfy in your skin: Yoga (it’s a cure-all for anything, really). Sleeping naked, cos feel yoself. Inspirational Pinterest quotes. A brief stint on Tinder for the ego boost. Oh, and unfollowing those stupid influencer accounts whose bodies make you feel like a walrus by comparison, when in reality they’ve been photoshopped, nipped, tucked and strategically angled to the last inch.
  • When you gain confidence, other people can sense it, and it’s sexy. When your horse can sense that you’re confident and in control, you’re in for a great ride, if you know what I mean. Let me say it again for the people in the back: Confidence is SEXY (although cockiness isn’t).
  • Don’t try too hard. Nonchalance is key. Don’t be too forward too soon, don’t try so hard to be funny or cool that it’s cringe, and don’t be despo. As much as you may want this person desperately, being clingy won’t help you, however much it may tear your soul in two to resist the urge.
  • If your seduction has been successful, you might score a cheeky peck. Advice? One little, cheeky teeth-on-the-lips move is all well and good on occasion, but just be chill with it, kay? My lips swole up to 3x their normal size at RnV last year from dudes chomping on the kiss. And don’t shove your tongue right down somebody’s mouth hole like a frog goin’ at it for a fly - keep it subtle, aight? Kissing the neck is great, but no hickies - we aren’t 16 anymore.  
  • Ultimately, to be truly sexy, be yourself. Whether your strength lies in your humour, your fuck-me gaze or your sweet charm, use those talents. Believe you are a goddamn sex symbol. Feel it. Act like it. And finally, most importantly, always keep condoms on hand because you’re gonna be in high demand if you follow these tips.

So, that’s us, kids. Be sensible, have fun, respect yoself and others, and for fuck’s sake learn how to make yourself + others orgasm properly.

Nexus xxx

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