I enjoy lying to people and watching them get angry. It’s a good way to get at the truth, and it’s often very funny.

I am in good company. Many people throughout history, far better writers than I’ll ever be, have gotten enjoyment out of precisely this sport. Jonathan Swift? Abject liar. Terry Pratchett lies. Douglas Adams was a famous teller of porkies. Peter Jackson lied his ass off in a film called Forgotten Silver, and made a lot of people very angry. All of them have this in common; they were satirists. Satire is what we call lying to people and laughing at them when they get angry.

Mark Twain, probably my favourite liar, said this of humour.

“You have a mongrel perception of humor, nothing more; a multitude of you possess that. This multitude see the comic side of a thousand low-grade and trivial things - broad incongruities, mainly; grotesqueries, absurdities, evokers of the horse-laugh. The ten thousand high-grade comicalities which exist in the world are sealed from their dull vision. Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them - and by laughing at them destroy them? For your race, in its poverty, has unquestionably one really effective weapon - laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution - these can lift at a colossal humbug - push it a little - weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. You are always fussing and fighting with your other weapons. Do you ever use that one? No; you leave it lying rusting. As a race, do you ever use it at all? No; you lack sense and the courage."

That kind of statement sets a very high bar for satire, not to mention other forms of humour. Satire, according to Twain, is meant to save the world – nothing less.
The problem lies in the fact that the world these days is awash in irony and satire, to the extent where making people amusingly angry is a nearly impossible task, and often involves defending the indefensible. CS Lewis predicted it years ago, in the Screwtape Letters; being flip, always acting as if the joke were already made, would see the ruin of humour. I think he was right. Everyone who matters in this media society is appropriately postmodern and aware and hip; the plebs who aren’t hardly matter. The joke’s been made and everyone’s in on it.

That’s why I’m grateful that our recent foray into satire, the story “Collective Groan at Mature Students,”* annoyed so many people. It seems we can still posit truisms through abject lying (mature students can be a time-wasting nuisance in class. Immature students can by annoying little pricks) and still piss people off.
We have other plans for satire. Big ones. We’d like to pop a few inflated heads. And hopefully, you’ll get the joke. But if you don’t – thank you. Your, letters to the editor, your spiels to concerned organisations, your righteous fury – you’re the reason we do this. You make it all worthwhile. Please don’t stop getting angry. We love you. Really.

Now that I’ve pointed out we enjoy a joke at your expense, I’d like to plead for you to take us seriously.

I should hope that when a satirical story is written you can tell it’s so because of inherent ridiculousness. Pointing out specifically that a story isn’t real kind of ruins the joke. Unfortunately, the Powers that Be will insist on providing shenanigans that we’d find difficult to make up. We’ll try and disclose these foibles when and where we can, and I think we’ve done an okay job so far. Hopefully, with our dedicated crew of staff and volunteers, we’ll get much better at it. When we tell the truth, we’ll play it straight. And when we lie, it will be deliciously ridiculous. A hint; one of our star writers, one Ira Lastic, is our sole provider of satirical news. Do read her stuff. She’s hilarious.

Which leads me to our lead news story this week, “University sold to Saudi Arabia.” Is it real? Could be. Is it fake? I’m not telling you. I’m going to ask that you use your intelligence to figure it out. I think I’ve given you enough clues already. But I think, somewhere out there, there’ll be one person who won’t get it (or read this editorial). One person who spits fire and fury, dashes of letters to all and sundry, and generally makes a lot of noise. If you are that person, I want to thank you, again. Please, don’t change. You’re the last of a dying breed. With your help, perhaps satire can still save the world.

*Which came to us courtesy of the Victoria University magazine Salient. I salute you, Jackson James “I’ve Got” Wood.